Tog Tags

The idea has been put forward that all older people should be tagged and kept track of using modern GPS equipment. The charity, Help the Aged, thinks this might be a good idea. It means the families of these silly old duffers and duffettes will have piece of mind knowing should their Togg wander off a quick phone call will result in COT* Squad rounding the offending wrinkly up and returning them to whatever Home for the Bewildered they have escaped from.
I can only think of my mother who would on occasion vanish for days or even a week only to return with her winnings from Reno or whatever high stakes Bingo game she had spotted advertised in the paper.
On the other hand I can see a special switchboard being needed for all the calls from the Toggs themselves. As someone who on the same day found the sugar inthe fridge, the hammer in the cupboard and the butter in the shed I think it might be a useful tool. No more standing in the middle of a shop wondering why I was there, one quick phone call and I can get an answer to the question I ask myself everyday,
'Where am I now?'
'Have I been here long?'
and of course
'Do I come here often?'

*Containment of Toggs